Phantom Pain
by Tears Falling Freely
Summary: Roxas hadn't thought he'd ever feel so hurt. Riku couldn't believe how much he wanted this despite the fact that it wasn't real. RikuRoxas, mentions RikuSora and AxelRoxas. Sorta Lime warning.


Pairing: Riku/Roxas, mentions of Riku/Sora, Axel/Sora.

Warnings: Curse words, Lime type thing. Mentions non-descript nudity. Yaoi: MaleXMale relationships; Guy on guy.

A/N: Was inspired by a YouTube vid of Riku/Sora; Yes, that's wierd inspiration for Riku/Roxas, especially since it was of KH I but what can I say, that's how my mind works. The vid was tittled Night: Sora's Lament by Kitkumi. Please review and tell me how I did. This is my first lime/ writing anything besides kissing. Tell me honestly and I will try to improve for next time.

* * *

"You look so much like Sora."

Roxas closed his eyes as he heard Riku's breathy voice, trying but failing to ignore the kisses Riku was applying to his neck.

It reminded him of how he and Axel used to fuck around on their time off.

Yet there was nothing but only the shadow of emotions. He hadn't been completely cut off from his heart like other nobodies but was still cut off enough to be considered a Nobody.

He bit back a gasp as Riku started to unzip his Organization XIII cloak to nip at the skin below his collar bone. His eyes screwed shut as Riku adjusted the grip his teeth had on his skin and started sucking.

It only served to remind him how much he loved Riku and yet all he wanted was Sora. It only reminded him how much he loved Axel. It only reminded him why neither statement was true no matter how much he wished it was.

He could feel Sora's love of Riku, attraction, but it only served to pull him further into a pit of despair.

"Fuck, I need you."

A phantom of pain ripped through him as Riku said that and he wondered who Riku was really speaking to.

Roxas' eyes widened when Riku unzipped his cloak and let his hand wander down to his flaccid cock.

Roxas heard Riku curse softly under his breath and closed his eyes.

* * *

Riku closed his eyes softly at the feel of Roxas' flaccid cock.

He had been hoping that it would be erect by now, or at least half erected, but obviously there was no such luck.

His eyes widened in realization as he recalled something Diz had told him.

_"Nobodies do not feel, they fake emotion."_

Which meant Roxas could not feel aroused though he obviously had tactile sensations. That meant no erection. The thought of his partner not getting any pleasure out of it deflated the erection he had been sporting a moment before.

_'Damn it all to hell, I really needed this tonight.'_

* * *

Roxas could practically hear Riku's thoughts.

_'It's true we don't have emotions, at least not the normal nobodies.'_

Roxas remembered questioning Axel once about how he could get aroused when he couldn't feel.

_"Because we can't feel we fake emotions, we pretend we can actually feel it, we fantasize what it might feel like and that's how we get aroused. We think of feeling, we want to feel, so therefore the thought of feeling is like an aphrodisiac."_

_'Well, I can actually feel the ghost of Sora's emotion . . . so maybe . . . .'_

* * *

Riku couldn't help but stare at Roxas' face as it scrunched together in thought and he couldn't help but think he found it cute.

_'No, he's Sora's nobody, of course I'm not actually attracted to him, it's Sora I really want.'_

Riku than noticed he still had his hand around Roxas' member and went to let go when he started to feel it harden.

Eyes widening, Riku nearly gave a smile but managed to pull it together.

* * *

Roxas could feel something flowing through his body and his eyes jolted open when he felt blood flowing downward. His eyes locked onto amber eyes that were staring into his own eyes, eyes that were a shade darker than his originals.

His eyes slide closed when Riku's lips descended on his own for the first time since this thing had started. He felt himself attentively press back, a little off balance with this turn of events. His hips bucked forward when Riku's hand started to stroke up and down his length. At that point he went limp in Riku's hold and let him take over.

* * *

Riku looked down at Roxas as he slept, the Organization cloak and boots discarded somewhere on the ground. He was supposed to bring Roxas to Diz after he had defeated him, but he couldn't bring himself to just yet. He had needed that and now he would bring Roxas to Diz and let him go, to let him become whole with Sora, so he could make up for his sins.

But no, he had only created more sins with what he had done with Roxas. It had only proved that the darkness was a fit punishment for one such as he.

He couldn't help the softness he felt for Roxas, the love, just as he couldn't stop the love he had for Sora. He loved them both, they were one in the same and yet they weren't. As he looked at Roxas he could note the subtle differences and the not so subtle. The underlying differences were the most obvious ones.

He finally allowed the smile he wouldn't let escape in front of anyone anymore as he looked at Roxas and reminisced about happier times, before he frowned at himself and shook his head to clear it.

Redressing Roxas as quick as he dared, he scoped him up bridal style once he was done.

As he started to walk and opened a portal of darkness to Diz's underground lab he whispered the words he wouldn't let pass his lips anytime else.

"I love you."

The portal closed behind him leaving only a whisper of memories on stale wind.


End file.
